Why Her?

I recently downloaded this song that popped up on my Pandora radio. It is called 'Why Her' by Monica. The words in the song, touched a place in my heart that is oh so sensitive. If you never heard the song I am not encouraging you to download it, you can if you'd like to see what I am coming from no big deal. I am just going to tell you a little story about me & how I related to this song.

Back a few years ago I got pregnant by my boyfriend of about 3 years. I was still in school, he was very special to me in so many ways. We were so tight we did everything together! At the time when we were together, in those moments that we spent together I thought to myself "oh me & this guy will be together for the rest of my life". Everyone knew about us it was great :) time went on & I ended up conceived by him. In the beginning of my pregnancy things were going by well. Then one night while I was at home with my oldest Sister & her friend* who's name I will keep anonymous I received some fucked up news.

We were all sitting in the house & my Sister's friend* decided to inform me that she works with a girl that my boyfriend is seeing. I will never forget the feeling that came over my body that night. Confused as HELL, never seen any signs, never been cheated on, a brand new thing to me. I was unaware of how to deal. I did not know if this bitch* was lying to me or what, jealous at the relationship me & him had. She* had known about me & my boyfriend, so if this is someone he was seeing at her* job wouldn't she* come to my defense & let the girl know he has a girlfriend, me! Also that I was pregnant?? Those were the things running thru my brain-cells.

The shit turned out to be true, I did not understand. I could not think of one reason why, questioned myself in so many ways. Cried wrote cried wrote cried wrote it was a never ending cycle for a long time. I did not need to question him, I got confirmation on my own. Why her? Was all I could say, just like the song. It was the worst experience of my life. I tried to work things out between us, he did not want to, then he tried to come back, I did not want him to. I tried to move on with my life, but I always wondered did they ever end it. Over time I understood how life isn't what I thought it would be, he had did what he did without even thinking about us. I was so in love & this happened to me. To this day it never ended. My kid has a step sibling you dig?

Their relationship was built on a lie so how long will it really last?